First Marriage

How many married couples do you know that have a solid foundation, and that you think will stay together? Of my close friends, I feel like there are quite a few who married someone that they will stay with forever. However, the crowd that I see in the country club/Portland Maine Housewives scene...it is a dismal forecast, indeed.

I think it's the age-old problem; marrying because things work out, because you found someone that can give you some sort of security or stability, because you both wanted to have kids, because a mutual dream of yours is to own a house on the Cape or a timeshare in Cabo.

When you leave out the respect, the excitement, the love and good old-fashioned romance, you get something that fizzled out with every argument. You can't argue with someone you have little respect for, and expect the argument to accomplish any true release and communication of feelings. Eventually, those arguments will leave you frustrated. You will not feel like you released tension. You may not even feel like making up by making love.

You build a life. Whether it was a couple of years, more than a decade, or the most recent that I've heard, forty years, you have a life that is intertwined with someone else. The demise of the first marriage is usually inevitable if you are missing the afore-mentioned love. Even those who have had affairs, it is usually in the hopes of finding a false love, a passion. Lust is then confused for that giddy, new-love feeling.

Does money complicated this, as I've seen so many more cases of affairs and divorce in the country club? Or, is that a coincidence?